a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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