Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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