I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
