We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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