I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You took a bar mat shot.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize