Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
