Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
