nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
