I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
