If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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