Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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