Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
