Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
