You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
