I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
