I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
