Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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