Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
