Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
