You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
