Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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