Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
