i need an iv and a liver transplant
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dick very happy bro
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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