Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
