ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
