Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
