I just threw up on my dentist
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
