i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
