Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
