Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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