Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
