"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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