If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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