So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The Olympian is in my bed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
