After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
