you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
