I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
