did you get engaged???
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
