Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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