I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
then he tried to convert me to islam
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
