New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
