I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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