ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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