She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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