help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
