you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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