why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
