I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
