Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
