Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
...so i touched it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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