Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
