no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
