Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
