He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
