At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
