Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
