no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
