Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize