The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
