i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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