So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
