Yo dont text me then not text me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
