i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
