The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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