Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't think brook has ever known best
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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