How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
