We won't sleep together?
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
