he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
