i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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