im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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