i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
