My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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