So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
