She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
